Hey look, two rarely-performed one-act Gluck operas both done by Pacific Opera Project. These are both, in fact, their staged US debuts, according to POP. And you know what else? They both have libretti by our ol' pal Metastasio. That came as quite a surprise to me: I knew he'd written one libretti for a comic intermezzo, L'impressario delle Isole Canarie, but I did not know he'd written other one-act pieces. For whatever reason, they're both listed on his wikipedia page under "other stage works," but the sense in which these are other than libretti is far from clear. Anyway! Here they are! And they're seeming done as a drive-in thing; I have no idea of the mechanics of that, but after arias you hear a cacophony of honking in lieu of applause, which baffled the hell out of me until I figured out what was going on.
So first, La corona, which you HAVE to figure was chosen more for its topical name than anything else. See, Diana is mad that the people of Calydon are not worshipping her properly, so she sends a big ol' boar to terrorize the countryside. Atalanta wants to go out and hunt it, but her sister and friend also want to come along, which she ain't too sure about. The prince, Meleagro, doesn't want them to go because it's too dangerous. Also, you know, girls. Eventually the boar is killed off-stage, and Meleagro and Atalanta have a dumb argument about who should get the credit--she having first wounded it and he having finished it off. But eventually they just decide to give the laurel to Diana herself. Hopefully she's not pissed that we murdered her boar.
If it sounds like sort of a slight plot, it is. The only reason it's even able to reach an hour in length is Gluck's habit of repeating himself over and over. You must admit, it's a very noticeable characteristic of his, even more than other composer of the time. The music's fine, sounding, as you'd expect, more classical than baroque (though not without some baroque influence, naturally), but I have to admit...the general lack of anything happening did mean it got a bit boring in places. Not fatally boring, but...a bit. Fair's fair.
What's incredible about Il Parnasso confuso is that for its debut, all four roles were played by Hapsburg archduchesses. Were they actually competent singers, or was this just a matter of being forced to indulge the nobility's whims? Either way, dang. Once again, we're in Greek Mythology Times. There's going to be a royal wedding, and Apollo gets three muses, Melpomene, Erato, and Euterpe, to perform at the wedding. But they can't decide on a song to do and in the end they miss it. They're kind of bummed, but then they cheer up.
Even less plot than La corona, but that's okay. It's kind of amusing. But you can't talk about this without mentioning the production. So...La corona is played totally straight; Il Parnasso confuso is...not. It's set in the 1980s, with the muses as pop stars and Apollo as their manager. I don't mind that, but the OTHER thing is that the subtitles...OOF. They are not faithful to the text, to put it mildly, featuring a bunch of eighties slang and, most of all, namechecks of loads and loads of eighties pop songs. Want a sample? Here's a sample:
"What's behind that mischievous grin Major Tom?"
"You can stop livin' on a prayer, because you're about to be walking on sunshine. It's a nice day for a white wedding. The King has decided to marry his pop princess!"
"Oh! Totally rad!"
"Bodacious!"
[...]
"Come on! Don't stop believing. You shine under pressure. Chin up. These are your glory days! Every little thing you do is magic."
Believe me, there's A LOT more where that came from. DO YOU GET IT? It's funny because they mention songs you know, and if that makes it very hard to follow the actual damn plot of the opera, well, that's just the price we have to pay. I guess. Endless witless references whose only alleged humor comes from their familiarity. BARF. Seriously, this is bad. POP's Don Procopio had the somewhat dubious "LOL RANDOM" ostrich farm stuff, but this is far worse.
Seriously, POP people: you have talent. There's no question about it. So just be a little more confident and do a little less straining for wackiness; it just makes you look desperate. You'll be glad you did, as will the entire audience.
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